Very f e m i n i n e l y.
Ladies, being a feminine woman doesn’t mean your appliances aren’t going to go on the fritz now and then or that you’re not going to need to fix them because your husband doesn’t have the time.
But being a feminine woman does affect how you might go about repairing them and your interaction about it all with him.
Let me explain:
When a household appliance or fixture breaks down around the house, ideally your husband knows about it, has an extra hour or two to spare, has all his tools in one accessible place, has the energy to put into crouching under something for that hour or two, and is willing to set aside whatever other job he’d planned for the day in order to do this one.
Now, let’s talk the other option. In this very realistic scenario, your husband has worked a 60-hour week, is coming home exhausted, hears that the item has broken (please, though, tell him only after he’s had dinner), realizes that most of his tools have been used by the kids for their latest project and are thus scattered throughout the basement and yard, has an aching back, and seriously dreads the thought of fixing it. He knows that he would be able to fix it in probably a few minutes, but because he likes to do things right the first time, he’d want to google a few things and decide exactly how to proceed. So on a good day, he’d probably enjoy the challenge, but right now?
You, on the other hand, have been home all day, taking care of the kids, making meals, cleaning up, and wanting to use that broken appliance pretty badly. Let’s say it’s the washer. So you understand completely that it might take your husband a day or two to wait for Saturday to have the time and energy for the repair, and technically you could wait that long before entirely running out of clean clothes for everybody, but frankly, the thought of being without this precious commodity is really pretty miserable.
So. What do you do?? Well, on the one hand, you know that your husband has a natural masculine capacity for repairing large applicances since there is always some danger involved from sharp tools, electricity, etc., and he wants to protect you from that, but on the other hand, you’ve YouTubed “how to repair my Maytag washing machine” and come up with about fifteen videos explaining the exact problem you’re having along with a crystal clear step-by-step solution. You know you’ve got a few hours to spare tomorrow because you can send the kids to your mom’s, and you really, really want to try.
If your husband agrees with your plans, then go ahead and do it. I myself have successfully repaired a number of items in our kitchen, including the dishwasher and the fridge.
And here is the most important thing to keep in mind:
whatever you are repairing,
repair it in a feminine way.
Remember that your husband takes a great deal of pride in being able to protect you from small and large dangers, and this is one of them. He’d probably really, really like to plunk down a few hundred dollars to call in a plumber, but he knows that the bills this month are particularly high.
So even though you yourself might think nothing of it at all, keep in mind that he does. He thinks a great deal about the fact that he’s not doing what he’s been given the ability to do–to protect you from this trouble, danger, and inconvenience–and that you’re having to do it for him.
So, if you remember not to boast about it, nor tell him how quickly and simply you did it and what a perfect job you did and that it was not a big deal, then he will probably be really open to thanking you and congratulating you on a job well done.
In other words, please don’t be like her:
Sorry to sound so counter-cultural, but that is such an downer to any full-blooded masculine man, that’s for sure.
But if you make the mistake of bragging about your efficiency and talent in something that he would otherwise be taking a great deal of pride in doing for you, then you might find that he’s a bit reluctant to offer his praise.
The bottom line is this: do his repairing if you must, but do it femininely, and don’t worry about doing it as perfectly as he would.
Instead, let him get a chuckle out of seeing you with a swath of dust on your cheek or a little dab of paint on your nose, and then sweetly ask him to take care of the last part of the job, the wrap-up stuff. Let him tighten all the bolts (you know you can’t tighten them as well as he can anyway), look things over, and decide if everything’s done right.
In this way you will be acknowledging the fact that you do indeed depend upon his masculine protection, and that you would be lost without it.
He’ll be forever grateful to you, and you’ll have a contented husband and a repaired appliance all at the same time!!
Oh, and about those repairs I did to the dishwasher and the fridge? Did I mention that while the YouTube videos each took the posting repairman approximately fifteen minutes to complete the jobs, the process took me–both times–more than a day and a half??!
Thanks be to God for the masculine, protective, knowledgeable, able, and generous men in our lives!!
The timeless classic
and one of my top five
all-time favorite books!